So let's look for something to lighten things up.
Well, there's a story that 20% of road accidents involve a parked car. One in five accidents are caused by one car banging into another one which isn't moving. Apparently this problem is worst in London, but proportionately much worse in Glasgow. All manner of possible explanations spring to mind, which I will refrain from stating.
The following story is much better. There has been much concern about unnecessary calls to the emergency services. One caller phoned to ask for help in voting in the X factor. Another asked for a one pound coin for a supermarket trolley. But this is the best:
Control: "South Wales Police, what's your emergency?"
Caller: "It's not really. I just need to inform you that across the mountain there's a bright stationary object."
Caller: "If you've got a couple of minutes perhaps you could find out what it is? It's been there at least half an hour and it's still there."
Control: "It's been there for half an hour. Right. Is it actually on the mountain or in the sky?"
Caller: "It's in the air."
Control: "I will send someone up there now to check it out."
After the police patrol car arrives, the script reveals the exchange between the control room and the police officer sent to the scene.
Control: "Alpha Zulu 20, this object in the sky, did anyone have a look at it?"
Officer: "Yes, it's the moon. Over."